Dancing With Alice.

I walked into Caring Days facility, a daycare center for the elderly and the mentally disabled, expecting it to be a normal day of volunteering. I had been going to Caring Days for some time to do volunteer work, and I had grown to love working with this community. But today was different. As I sat down to assist some ladies making crafts, there was one particular woman at the end of the table with wide, empty eyes. I noticed she was very well-groomed, and she had classy, attractive features. For a few moments I had mistaken her for an employee, but when I introduced myself to her, she smiled at me and attempted to respond, but I couldn’t understand any of the words that came out of her mouth. She was apparently not able to speak. Despite my lack of understanding, I glanced down at her nametag and smiled at her, saying, “It’s nice to meet you, Alice.”

She smiled back, started rocking in her chair, and began to babble some more. She was very reserved, and the other old ladies were divided in their attitude toward her. Some were concerned and attentive; others were annoyed and distant. Sometimes she would try to get out of her chair and walk towards the door, and one of the employees at the facility would gently sit her back down. Again she’d commence to rocking back and forth, uttering unintelligibly, but one time, she had a frown on her pretty face. During this rush of emotion, she did not seem to notice those around her. One of the employees explained to me that she was ready to go home to her husband. This poor woman touched my heart, and I decided to remain close to her until it was time for her to leave.

As closing time approached, Alice became more and more impatient to leave. I decided that the best way to ease her stress was to entertain her, so I asked her to dance with me. There was music playing in the room, and I was willing to do anything to ameliorate her mood. When I asked her at first, she looked down and otherwise did not respond. When I got up and started to dance, though, she looked up at me, and began to smile. I extended my invitation for her to join me once again. Then, slowly but surely, she got up out of her seat and danced with me. We danced not more than a song or two, but these few moments put her at ease for the remainder of her stay.

When her husband arrived to take her home, he explained to me that Alice was suffering from dementia. She used to be a brilliant schoolteacher, but now her life had turned another direction. He told me how difficult it was to find someone to assist her for extended hours during the day. Her condition had changed both of their lives dramatically. He explained that she is the same woman he married a long time ago. But now, just as if she had suffered from cancer or another disease, she had been afflicted with a debilitating mental condition. His gaze on her and the tenderness of his voice displayed his love and devotion to his wife. Sometimes it is hard to imagine how someone could persevere and sacrifice so much for a person. But as I took in the way he felt towards Alice I began to understand. I recounted to him how Alice and I had danced today, and he smiled and replied, “Yes, she loves to dance.”

When I left Caring Days that day, I did not realize how much of an impact Alice’s story would have on me. Since then, I have often thought of Alice. That particular day at the facility awakened in me an otherwise dormant concern for the elderly and the mentally disabled. Before I viewed these individuals’ conditions as distant and unrealistic, but Alice showed me that anyone can suffer from a mental illness. Alice was a joyful, spirited, brilliant woman, and something unfortunate had caused her life to change forever. Alice, a sweet spirit trapped in a failing mind, has softened my heart and changed my outlook. Now, when I go to Caring Days, I do not see the needy elderly stereotype with which we often stamp them, but I see a group of individuals who are real human beings who have quite possibly lived the lives that we all hope for ourselves. That one day with Alice has caused me to be more aware of others’ hardships, and it has rendered me a person of better understanding. This was a dance lesson that taught me much more than a few steps.